An experiment gone well.

This past week, I've lowered my carb intake drastically, and it seems to be working. I'm 'down' 4.6 lbs since that horrible day last week when I reached the highest weight I had in 2.5 years. Some of it might be water weight and the fact that I just finished up my period, but I don't think all of it.

The first couple of days were tough - a tremendous amount of brain fog. I was able to go for a run at the end of the second day, and I had decent energy.

Slowly,  I started to become less obsessed with eating. When your only options are veggies, protein, and fruit, you start to calm down when it comes to food. I didn't get as hungry.

This works. As long as I stick with it.

This has got to stop.

I've developed some bad habits over the past six months, habits that have resulted in negative consequences on my mind and body.

I'm ready to be done.

I've developed a taste for and have been indulging in:
Chips
French fries
Cookies
Donuts
Muffins
Candy
Bacon
Sausage biscuits
Bagels
McChicken sandwiches
Alcohol

Sometimes I chew and spit most of it out, sometimes only part of it.
I've gained about 10 lbs in the past 9 months. Not good. It's been a slow creep due to my eating habits.

I'm going to do better. I know I can.

My plan is to try to break the habit of stopping at drive-thrus, even if it has "only" been 2-3 times a week. It's adding up.

I'm so scared. I don't know how to deal with the anxiety and the depression without the instant comfort of food.

Most of my indulgences have been simple carbs. I don't want or need to eliminate them entirely, but given that I don't work out as much as I used to, I don't need that much.

Things that I enjoy that I can have when I'm having a sweet craving:
A mango
Strawberries
Blueberries
Jawbreaker (1-2)
Sugar free popsicles

I just need to retrain my taste buds. I want to start eating more veggies again, like I used to. I used to think they were delicious.

Have I mentioned that I am scared?

But I'm more scared of continuing to live this way.

A compromise?

Maybe I'm just kidding myself, and this isn't sustainable, but I've found an approach that might work.

Instead of all-or-nothing, I'm limiting drinking to Saturdays only.

With the exception of half of a rum-and-coke on Wednesday during a work social event, I've adhered to this plan this week. The week was good - decent energy and focus, and there was no worries about drinking too much at a work event. On the downside, I didn't enjoy the dinner and subsequent scavenger hunt as much, but it was worth it.

Yesterday I started drinking at 5 pm. I probably had 4-5 drinks, enough to get a little loopy.

It's not perfect, but progress over perfection. It might work.