A reflection on a good week.

Reflection on the week of September 5^th, 2016

First, what went well.

Mental health:

·        I started 150 mg of Wellbutrin again on Tuesday.  I had no problem with the doctor’s office prescribing it via email.

·        I stopped taking Prozac (I had tapered down to 20 mg already. Because of its long half-life, the effects of stopping cold turkey are minimal).

·        Most days were ½ stim days.

·        No alcohol – felt so much more clear-headed. It was also as if the pleasure center in my head got re-calibrated to enjoy the ‘smaller’ things in life again.

·        I weighed myself only twice this week, and was pleased to find that there were no negative results from not micro-managing my weight.

·        I identified a couple of counselor options.

·        I went to a new library, and got more books. I spent several hours reading this weekend, which was something I have not done in a long time. I remember now how much I enjoyed it.

·        I started to practice mindfulness. I tried to slow down and experience the small moments that life is comprised of.

·        I began to put a period at the end of these past 9 months. I’m defining them in my mind as “that dark time after I quit my job.” What’s key is that I’m starting to feel like it’s in the past. I was reminded during a show this week that “what matters is the room we are in right now.”

Physical health:

·        I learned more about vitamins and minerals, and how important they are. A few nights, I took a sleep supplement that contains melatonin, 5-HTP, l-thyrosine, and magnesium, all of which are key in helping alleviate depression. I may need to consider a magnesium supplement in the future, as my multivitamin does not have enough and it’s hard to get through diet.

·        I continued to develop my taste for PLAIN water. I have started to crave it, even. I think it has greatly helped my digestion. I have noticed that I have become more, uh, regular. For me, this is pretty unusual.

·        I slept about 24 hours this weekend. I’m hoping that will help alleviate some of the fatigue I have been having. I’m trying to listen to my body and honor what it needs, and right now, it needs rest.

·        I didn’t count calories, but instead focused on staying away from white carbs and sugar, as I have been doing for the past three weeks.

·        I didn’t gain any weight.

·        I identified the possibility that I might have hypothyroidism, and I’m going to pursue evaluation. I have identified an endocrinologist.

 

Relationships:

·        I felt closer to my husband this week. We had some good conversations and time together.

·        I met a new neighbor.

·        I enjoyed dinner out with my husband. I chose a dish because of the health value (oysters) and really enjoyed it. We had great conversation, and just a very enjoyable experience.

·        I had a good conversation with my brother where I was honest about being upset when our father said some unkind things to him.

·        I started to let go of some things from my past.

Work:

·        I got good feedback from a VP at work. He said that my technical and interpersonal skills were very good. My gap is my business skills and knowledge. I agree with that. He also said he could see me in operations or even as a VP someday. For a few hours, I seriously thought about that. Then, on a walk with my husband, I was reminded of what happened when I pursued promotion above my passion before. I’m not going to do that again. My passion lies in continuous improvement, and I am becoming more convinced that my purpose includes becoming a Master Black Belt.

·        I kept my cool during a meeting at work where my method and thought process was being challenged. Instead of showing my frustration, I sought to understand the other person’s perspective, and it worked out.

·        I made an effort to go over and say hi to one of my coworkers on Friday even though I really didn’t feel like it. His reception was very warm, and I was glad I made the effort – he seemed to appreciate it.

·        My boss told me that she “needed” me, and that talking to me always helped her sort out her thoughts. She says we are a good team. I agree – she is great at coming up with the vision, and my strengths lie in execution.

 

Faith:

·        I turned to my faith more frequently. I reflected on a different verse each day, and made an effort to pray more. I also took some time to just worship and thank God for all He has done for me. When I stop and reflect, I am amazed at His continued love and care for me, despite my rebellious ways. I love Him, and within me is the burning desire to follow Him all of my days. May this desire flourish and manifest itself in all areas of my life.

·        I became even more convinced that the only purpose of man is to bring glory to God. Apart from Him, we are nothing.

·        I was reminded of the power of a God who would come down to earth and die for those He loved. How could I do anything but offer Him my love in return, this King who loves so much that He would sacrifice Himself? How can I respond but to give Him my all, my everything?

Other:

·        Self-care in general got better. I enjoyed taking care of myself this week more than I have, even exfoliating my skin, which I have not done in years.

·        I got my hair done, and found a great new stylist.

·        I felt more peaceful about getting older, less dread than I had been experiencing before.

·        I experienced a joy that I haven’t felt in months.

·        I wanted to live again.

 

The not-as-good.

·        I was so tired and fatigued all weak, both physically and mentally, but not sure why. It was really hard to get things done at work, although I managed to get done the things I needed to.

·        I didn’t talk to many people at work, which left me feeling lonely, actually. I need to interact more during the week. It’s good for me.

·        I didn’t do as much strength training as I intended to. I think getting a gym membership would help. I did do a few planks, sit-ups, and weights interspersed throughout the week, but it was not much.

·        I felt a little more irritable and angrier than usual this week, probably because of starting the Wellbutrin again.

·        Continued to struggle with minor panic attacks throughout the week, especially when I think about the future. I need to remember to trust God and put my hope in Him. No matter what happens, nothing can take me from His hands. Not even death.

 

My goals for next week:

Mental / spiritual health:

·        Reflect on the daily Bible verse each day (reference it several times).

·        Weigh myself only twice. I think Wednesday and Sunday.

·        Actively look for opportunities to bless others.

·        Make an appointment with a counselor

·        Practice more mindfulness.

·        Attend first small group meeting.

 

Physical health:

·        Continue to limit/eliminate my consumption of white carbs and sugar. I have really benefitted from the reduced cravings and more regulated energy.

·        Reduce my caffeine intake. I have so much now that it doesn’t even really have an effect on me any more. Ideally, I would have 2 cups of coffee in the morning and one soda after lunch. Currently, I’m having 5-6 servings a day, and I think it’s stressing my adrenals out.

·        Eat more of a variety of vegetables. Gotta get those vitamins and minerals!

·        Have sardines at least once. What a nutritional powerhouse.

·        No alcohol again. If I make it past this next weekend, that will be the longest in months that I have gone without a drink. It’s so worth it.

·        Start taking magnesium supplements.

·        Daily: 150mg Wellbutrin, ½ stim, 2000 IU Vitamin D, multivitamin, 500mg calcium, 2 fish oil capsules. Every other day: Magnesium.

·        3-4 times: sleep supplement

·        Try to avoid ibuprofen and Tylenol when possible.

·        Make an appointment with an endocrinologist.

·        Go on 2-3 runs.

·        Go for a bike ride.

·        Strength training at least twice.

·        Go ahead and get a membership at Planet Fitness. It’s not that much per month, and it would really encourage me to ramp up the strength training.

Work:

·        Make more progress on pre-press project.

·        Run 2 cadence review calls.

·        Effectively communicate to our executive vice president the value of one of my coworker’s work. He is trying very hard to do the right thing for our company, and he needs support.

Other:

·        Send in foster parent paperwork.

·        More reading! I have two memoirs and a book on faith lined up.

·        Take care of my husband after his surgery Friday morning.

·        Order more contact lenses.

·        Cook for my husband, including freezing some meals for him to have during the week. I want him to have options other than having to always prepare food for himself.